TFLN Meme + Random/General Texting Meme

[clowningaroundgotham]

You know what to do. Reply to a toplevel or make your own.

Comments

TFLN

[clowningaroundgotham]

1. You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

2. Good news! My life of crime finally paid off. More than it had before, anyway!

3. Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day.

4. My sheets look like a crime scene.

5. I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic.

6. I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

7. Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, a real crown, and shimmer lotion. Maybe I need to clean house more often.

8.Reply with a TFLN text of your own.

[OOC: Misfires are fine for comedy's sake.]

3

[hadahandinitall]

Next time could you possibly wait until I was out of the building first?

[clowningaroundgotham]

Aww, sorry. I've really gotta work on my timing! I figured you were long gone by then.

You can't fault the fireworks though, right? We gave the mouse a run for his money. The whole city turned into a themepark after hours event with how bright we made it.

[hadahandinitall]

Oh, I would have been out in plenty of time. That is if the mouse hadn't stayed in the hole long enough to leave traps of his own.

But at least the "event" as you put it will erase any evidence.

[clowningaroundgotham]

Well... Aside from the giant explosion with literal fireworks worked in that drew every vigilante, cop, and first responder in the city to us. But hey, that's what a good workout is for. We can consider running for it leg day!

[hadahandinitall]

Oh, I'm sure they won't pay much attention to me. Other than trying to get me to seek medical attention. Since I'm covered in my own blood.

[clowningaroundgotham]

If I promise you wholeheartedly that I never meant for you to get caught in there will you promise to not shoot me? I'll even pull the car around to pick you up! We'll go get you patched up and then it's back to work!

Unless it's a vigilante's night out. Then we're pretty screwed.

7 - gimme dat AU

[lets_get_nuts]

Alfred just cleaned it yesterday. I have concerns.

/Hands it right over

[clowningaroundgotham]

The man did a good job too, I tell ya!

He just didn't find all the hidden spots. Or the couple of additions I made to the suite! If I don't have a hiding place or two it makes me feel a little crazy.

[lets_get_nuts]

He always has. ... So the hiding alcohol instead of just ... helping yourself downstairs is just old habits dying hard, I take it?

Also. What the hell is 'shimmer lotion'?

[clowningaroundgotham]

Maybe. Or maybe when I first moved in I panicked and decided to stash booze like a squirrel saving up for winter! Who knows! I sure as hell don't remember when I put these here!

It's lotion! With shimmery bits in it that stick to the skin. So when the light hits? This ghastly pallor sparkles like a showgirl's bodice.

[lets_get_nuts]

All things considered, that's fair. Just ... try not to hide anything harder, okay? I worry about you.

As for the lotion - that's all you. Try not to leave it where I'll end up using it when I'm not paying attention. Leaving glitter behind after handshakes at board meetings is not a good look.

[clowningaroundgotham]

I'll be good, scout's honor! No more alcohol driven home improvement, I swear!

Mind you I was never a scout! But the saying probably still applies! Haha!

Oh, c'mon. You'd look fantastic all shiny. You could blind them with your dazzle and leave them at your mercy. Then you might actually get home on time without a battle.

[lets_get_nuts]

I'm guilty of sleep-deprived home improvement, so I can't really throw too many stones there, I admit.

On time, huh? ... Eh, you just want me all to yourself, I know. ... We'll see. Maybe I'll save it for the next time I need to be a distraction. Say it's some kind of new trend.

[clowningaroundgotham]

You don't wanna throw any stones in this place anyway. Alfie would turn both of us over a knee! You're king of the castle, but the man is in charge of it's upkeep! I don't think he'd forgive that too easy!

Yeah, I'm selfish. I'll admit it. I also know that you're a busy man. So I'll be well behaved a little longer. And appreciate you even if you don't understand the appeal of some good shimmer.

General Texting Meme

[clowningaroundgotham]

[Reply with a text for him or a blank comment to get a most likely very unwanted text from him.]

IC Texts-In Case you actually do want them

[clowningaroundgotham]

1. Hey. HEY. I know it's two am and all, and I'm not usually like this, but let's get married. Just me, you, and our happily ever after. We'll marry at the circus, go over Niagara falls for our honeymoon, and finally settle down to raise 2.5 clown bastards.

HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA

2. When were you going to tell me that bats have their nipples in their armpits? Do you realize how much fun I've missed out on by not having this information? You've been holding out on me!

3. Have I ever told you my tragic childhood story of how I was trafficked as a young boy? And that I was saved by Bertha the Bearded lady and Helga the super genius elephant? That's why I joined the circus and started my life of criminal clowning! All for them!

It wasn't all happiness though. It was also a never ending cycle of go ask your mom! And boy, don't get me started on the spankings Mama Helga could dish out!

2.

[deathrespect]

Must've slipped my mind. What are you gonna do with all this info?

[clowningaroundgotham]

Besides use it to casually tease the big guy in the bat bondage get up while he beats me to a bloody pulp before tossing me into the asylum again?

No clue.

I still feel like it was pertinent need to know stuff! What other weird stuff about bats don't I know about? I feel like I've opened Pandora's box!

[deathrespect]

How exactly would one slip that into conversation anyway?? "By the way I have pit-nips!"

[clowningaroundgotham]

Well, I figure I'll bring it up on a beautiful dark night...

[Pardon the pause, he's laughing at dark night/dark knight.]

ANYWAY! It'll be at one of our usual hot date spots, a bank, a treasury building, outside of a weapons deal gone wrong for everyone but me after he wrecks another company van. You know, that sort of thing. I'll be in his arms, one of his hands starting to tighten around my neck, and I'll look up into that big dark cowl and say "Bats, baby, when were you going to tell me that your nipples are in your armpits?"

If I'm lucky he'll be so mad he'll strangle me right then and there!

[deathrespect]

Gotta spice up your Friday somehow I guess

I just pictured you being like, "tickle tickle!" and now I need to lay down

[clowningaroundgotham]

Any relationship needs a little spicing up. Who knows what'd happen if I let things get stale? Perish the thought!

I haven't tried that yet. I can't even imagine what he'd do!

Which means eventually I'll have to try it.

[deathrespect]

My boyfriend and I keep the romance alive with rap battles. I think if he tried to tickle my armpits or my nipples my balls would just implode

TFLN TOPLEVEL BASE FOR WHEN I HAVE THE TESTICLES FOR THE BIG POST

[clowningaroundgotham]

1. It will be a surprise... All I can say is stripper clown.

2. I got cock blocked by the cops again. Two of the cops were the same ones from that Wayne Pharmaceuticals incident and they recognized me... They still don't like me. Can't imagine why!

3. I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat".

4. Maybe next time you'll take an ex-boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge. Or not. It's your funeral with Harley.

5. The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"